A friend visited me yesterday in the training room and he was just a touch of sadness all over. You see, months ago, he made one great decision that he never thought would change is life three hundred sixty degrees. He left his girlfriend of 3 years for someone else. And details of the break up I'd rather not discuss because it's not my story to begin with. What I know of is that , he ripped and shattered the ex girlfriend's heart into pieces enough for her to resign and move on elsewhere. He was confident he made the right choice. He ranted about not being happy anymore and that being with the new girl just felt right. Then yesterday came. He cried and admitted that yes, he made the wrong choice. He realized what a fool he has been for chasing momentary happiness with the new girl; wasting years of friendship, love, and happiness with the ex. And now all he can think of is wish he'd be given this one chance to undo and live his life over again. Truly, one can never be completely happy at the expense of others. Oh, well. We all learn things the hard way.
Why do we have regrets?
We all have regrets. I do. They are the things we wish we hadn't said or done and things we wish we had. We regret we weren't able to fulfill some of our dreams. When we expected someone would do something and they did not, or when we expected circumstances would turn out differently, we regret it. When illness or accident prevents us from doing what we had our hearts set on accomplishing, regret may seem too limiting a word to express our anger at the unfairness of it all.
Why do some of us spend so much time thinking about our regrets? The reason, I think, is fairly simple. We don't plan on making as many mistakes as we do and we assume a lot of things will turn out as we expect them to. And when we do, our minds return again and again to what "might" have been, "could" have been, or "should" have been. We replay the images that connect us to the events we now regret. Rather than getting rid of these images, our constant ruminations only give them fuel to grow ever more persistent.
But then again, life is too short to be wasted on wallowing on the wrong choices we made. I'd understand my friend's despondent state. He should. After all, he let go of one person who could have loved him like no one else can. But then, life has to go on. Perhaps, they will be given the chance to be back in each other's arm in time. But for now, he has to move on. He has to accept the fact that his happiness is but entirely dependent on his own now. That instead of regrets, he has to look back and appreciate the lessons her learned out of the choices he made. Because that's just how it should be.
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Side track:
My good friend Stan dropped by my training room today and gave me a 200g Cadbury Chocolate from Singapore. Yes, dear readers, I am well - loved and thought of! =)
Why do we have regrets?
We all have regrets. I do. They are the things we wish we hadn't said or done and things we wish we had. We regret we weren't able to fulfill some of our dreams. When we expected someone would do something and they did not, or when we expected circumstances would turn out differently, we regret it. When illness or accident prevents us from doing what we had our hearts set on accomplishing, regret may seem too limiting a word to express our anger at the unfairness of it all.
Why do some of us spend so much time thinking about our regrets? The reason, I think, is fairly simple. We don't plan on making as many mistakes as we do and we assume a lot of things will turn out as we expect them to. And when we do, our minds return again and again to what "might" have been, "could" have been, or "should" have been. We replay the images that connect us to the events we now regret. Rather than getting rid of these images, our constant ruminations only give them fuel to grow ever more persistent.
But then again, life is too short to be wasted on wallowing on the wrong choices we made. I'd understand my friend's despondent state. He should. After all, he let go of one person who could have loved him like no one else can. But then, life has to go on. Perhaps, they will be given the chance to be back in each other's arm in time. But for now, he has to move on. He has to accept the fact that his happiness is but entirely dependent on his own now. That instead of regrets, he has to look back and appreciate the lessons her learned out of the choices he made. Because that's just how it should be.
------
Side track:
My good friend Stan dropped by my training room today and gave me a 200g Cadbury Chocolate from Singapore. Yes, dear readers, I am well - loved and thought of! =)
2 comments:
regrets, i have a few. but then again too few to mention. aw.
regrets wont help you. it's just another emotion that will make you rot in a rut. while it is true that it's just normal to feel regrets but move on, get your ass moving before you hit rock bottom.
Aww... sometimes we learn these lessons the hard way. :)
"Regrets are a waste of time… they're just the past crippling you in the present" - under the tuscan sun
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