I had an interesting talk with someone last night. We talked about love and mammoth life in general. We reached the topic on eternal life and soulmates. The last word got me thinking after that wonderful talk we had. Do you believe in soul mates?
That idea is as hotly contested as nuclear testing, legalizing prostitution or arguing with a parent about one’s concept of a clean room. Was the idea of soul mate only invented for the sole purpose of giving people hope? A false one, at that? I mean, out of the ballooning, ever expanding universe and multiplying population---there’s supposed to be just one, singular soul which matches up with yours? Come on. How big is the Philippine population nowadays? I don’t know. Around 70 million? What if my soul mate wasn’t even Filipino? Maybe, he’s hidden somewhere in the obscure parts of London. How are we going to meet? I don’t even have the money to go to Palawan much less Europe!
To believe in soul mates is to be devoid of any logic whatsoever. It’s crazy. Maybe that’s why so many relationships fail. Whenever a couple encounters a problem, they fight, they give up. They realize, (or they try think it was realization when it was actually just coercing their mind), that they weren’t meant to be and that they’re not soul mates. “Oh, he’s/she’s still out there…looking for me...” But the person’s just in front of you! The only reason you guys broke up is because one of you, or both, weren’t brave enough to hold on.
Somebody once tried to explain that a soul mate doesn’t always have to be a romantic partner. It could be a sibling, parent or a good friend. A soul mate is supposed to be one who understands you and is half of your soul. Of course, it could be your brother, girlfriend or mother. They’re the ones who are always around you. Hence, at least one of them should be able to understand you even if sometimes you yourself don’t. Makes sense?
I’m not trying to discourage anybody here. The idea of a soul mate is absolutely sweet. Cute. And terribly romantic. But unreal. And if that person was half of you, does that mean you are not whole? That you are incomplete? What does that say about the essence of your existence? What if the inevitable hands of death claim your soul mate, what is left of you?
Sometimes, when contemplating relationships, we (of course) always want the best. Maybe not a perfect person, but perfect for us. So we weed them out. Here comes a marvelous suggestion: Dating! (enter light bulb here). With it also comes the hesitation to commit since we are quietly trying to pinpoint the one. The one. This is prone to cheating or hurting each other’s feelings. On a positive note, this also minimizes whirlwind courtships and rushing headlong into questionable romances.
But really, is it healthy? I’d like to blame Walt Disney for ingraining into our minds the notion of true love a la Snow White and Cinderella. Forget the Prince Charming on a horse part since we all know that he’s just the same guy recycled for all the fairytale princesses. I still can’t reconcile with the fact, that ever since I was born, there was already another soul encased in flesh assigned to me. This is another proof therefore, that we have no control over our lives. Our lives control us.
Even if it were true, are we sure that we would be with that person for the rest of our lives? Or at least a portion of our life? Because that’s want soul mate believers believe in, right? Gilda Cordero-Fernando once mentioned in an article that maybe the reason why God doesn’t put too many soul mates together, is that there isn’t much to learn in a completely harmonious relationship. And I agree, because we were put here in this world to love and learn. Will we be able learn and test our love more if we were completely in sync with a person or if there were conflicts every now and then?
I’m just afraid of the extreme disappointment that might be met if we were unable to locate our own soul mates. For an analogy, its kind of like placing the faith of Christmas in Santa Clause’s hands. As time passes, we realize it was just a hoax to make little kids giddy and excited about the season.
If you’ve read The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo (which contains more quotable quotes than all of the Reader’s Digest…excuse the plug), it says there that “everything under the sun has been written by one Hand only”. If we were to deem that true, doesn’t that mean that we are all the same? Beyond color, beyond age, beyond social class, we, of this Earth all share the same soul. Would it be acceptable to believe then that we are simply each and everybody’s soul mates?
That idea is as hotly contested as nuclear testing, legalizing prostitution or arguing with a parent about one’s concept of a clean room. Was the idea of soul mate only invented for the sole purpose of giving people hope? A false one, at that? I mean, out of the ballooning, ever expanding universe and multiplying population---there’s supposed to be just one, singular soul which matches up with yours? Come on. How big is the Philippine population nowadays? I don’t know. Around 70 million? What if my soul mate wasn’t even Filipino? Maybe, he’s hidden somewhere in the obscure parts of London. How are we going to meet? I don’t even have the money to go to Palawan much less Europe!
To believe in soul mates is to be devoid of any logic whatsoever. It’s crazy. Maybe that’s why so many relationships fail. Whenever a couple encounters a problem, they fight, they give up. They realize, (or they try think it was realization when it was actually just coercing their mind), that they weren’t meant to be and that they’re not soul mates. “Oh, he’s/she’s still out there…looking for me...” But the person’s just in front of you! The only reason you guys broke up is because one of you, or both, weren’t brave enough to hold on.
Somebody once tried to explain that a soul mate doesn’t always have to be a romantic partner. It could be a sibling, parent or a good friend. A soul mate is supposed to be one who understands you and is half of your soul. Of course, it could be your brother, girlfriend or mother. They’re the ones who are always around you. Hence, at least one of them should be able to understand you even if sometimes you yourself don’t. Makes sense?
I’m not trying to discourage anybody here. The idea of a soul mate is absolutely sweet. Cute. And terribly romantic. But unreal. And if that person was half of you, does that mean you are not whole? That you are incomplete? What does that say about the essence of your existence? What if the inevitable hands of death claim your soul mate, what is left of you?
Sometimes, when contemplating relationships, we (of course) always want the best. Maybe not a perfect person, but perfect for us. So we weed them out. Here comes a marvelous suggestion: Dating! (enter light bulb here). With it also comes the hesitation to commit since we are quietly trying to pinpoint the one. The one. This is prone to cheating or hurting each other’s feelings. On a positive note, this also minimizes whirlwind courtships and rushing headlong into questionable romances.
But really, is it healthy? I’d like to blame Walt Disney for ingraining into our minds the notion of true love a la Snow White and Cinderella. Forget the Prince Charming on a horse part since we all know that he’s just the same guy recycled for all the fairytale princesses. I still can’t reconcile with the fact, that ever since I was born, there was already another soul encased in flesh assigned to me. This is another proof therefore, that we have no control over our lives. Our lives control us.
Even if it were true, are we sure that we would be with that person for the rest of our lives? Or at least a portion of our life? Because that’s want soul mate believers believe in, right? Gilda Cordero-Fernando once mentioned in an article that maybe the reason why God doesn’t put too many soul mates together, is that there isn’t much to learn in a completely harmonious relationship. And I agree, because we were put here in this world to love and learn. Will we be able learn and test our love more if we were completely in sync with a person or if there were conflicts every now and then?
I’m just afraid of the extreme disappointment that might be met if we were unable to locate our own soul mates. For an analogy, its kind of like placing the faith of Christmas in Santa Clause’s hands. As time passes, we realize it was just a hoax to make little kids giddy and excited about the season.
If you’ve read The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo (which contains more quotable quotes than all of the Reader’s Digest…excuse the plug), it says there that “everything under the sun has been written by one Hand only”. If we were to deem that true, doesn’t that mean that we are all the same? Beyond color, beyond age, beyond social class, we, of this Earth all share the same soul. Would it be acceptable to believe then that we are simply each and everybody’s soul mates?
