Hey!

Hey you!

Yes, you.

You make me oblivious of things that hurt. Thank you!

On Break ups

The thing about break ups is it make you realize how pathetic life has been before that person came into your life.

Apathy. Self - loathe. Domesticity. Enough said.

Hang On

This poker face is not doing me anything.

I just wanna sob right now.

God knows how sharp this pain is.

Dear Trainees

I shouldnt be surprised why you found my blog because the internet is vast and stupid to be puking my name.

Please do not spend so much time reading this crap. You might grow this urgency to kill me in broad daylight.

There are better things to do. And lives to learn from apart from mine that's shitty and crappy.

But nonetheless, please dont hate.

Anne

Calloused

Perhaps it's life's way of teaching me a lesson. That the world is populated with people who are out there to hurt you. That for me to survive, I have to make sure that my defenses are guarded. That my process of cognition is should always be at it's prime otherwise I will yet again go through harrowing pain.

I have issues with people. I question motives and trusting can be a tedious task that I will never learn to perfect. Yes, I am perfectly aware that this stops me from being completely happy but I believe life is too fast for me to notice that I have been sad for the longest time. I cannot even recall the last time I gave out a real smile. More often than not, I have been used to appearing unperturbed and wearing these colorful masks to cover my loneliness has been a hard habit to break.

The world is cunning and life in general is hard. And the people in it? Oh, they can be abusive. They can hurt you like daggers thrusted in your chest over and over. So note to self: Act with caution. Do not swoon over gestures that will fade anyway. Everybody lies. Make believe is everywhere. People are out there to hurt so live life as if everyone's your enemy. Trust no one but yourself. Stay calloused and be safe.

2011: The Year That Was!

I must say, 2011 was not a great year for me. I made stupid and idiotic decisions that tampered and apparently ruined some of my relationships with other people. I lost a lot of special people and voluntarily and involuntarily. I became too occupied with momentary things that I forgot to consider and prioritize the things that are of exreme importance. I made drastic and foolish judgments. I became all the way too selfish that I allowed my self to drown in that quicksand I created for myself that I almost died. I allowed people to use and abuse me because I thought I was insanely happy with the pleasure it was giving me. I forgot to value my self first and foremost. I was a pathetic, all forsaken girl, and I wallowed in self pity.

It was one hell of a year.

After being jobless for a month an 14 days and picking up the pieces one burnt meal at a time, I realized, after years of feeding my useless and wanton desires, that I have to grow up. That I will be turning 29 and I am racing with time. That I have to do a paradigm shift. Life has taught me a whole lot of lessons the past year and I am determined to learn and act on them by heart.

So these are the things that I look forward to this 2012:

Get regularized and take care of your job. (Please good heavens!)
Work hard and play once in a while.
Save at least 5,000 per pay day starting February. Save more and spend less.
Love my self more above anyone else in this planet.
Start a small business with my last pay (please give it to me na).
Take care of the people that stuck with you through shit and back. You can count on them when life walks out on you.
Strive to strengthen my faith in God. (Working on it)
Avoid things and people that cause unnecessary stress.
Get a new passport. (This better gets done before January ends.)
Finish school. I will really do that this year.
Go to HongKong disneyland.
Ride a taxi just at least 5 times a month or less.
Save. Save. Save.

And a lot more...

Life happens when you least expect it. It will start happening soon for me