inveterate grumps on the loose!!!

never had the chance to post this soon as I wrote part of this on the notepad given to us during our training which I intentionally left in the locker because the mere sight of it makes me want to shove shit off their esophagus!

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Did you know that my trainers (need I say more?) and a pack of cigarettes have one thing in common? They're all dangerous to my health. In fact, I'm perilously close to adapting the most unhygienic form of contortion. Biting my nails. My toe nails. I think they have perfected the art of causing undiluted stress which drives me to fumigate my lungs every chance I get since they are by far more toxic than nicotine anyway.

And my badly abused gums are screaming bloody murder from excessive and forceful gnashing every time I get this urgent need to castrate them in cold daylight.

Believe me, if my annoyance could kill? They'd be long dead with bones so hideously rotten even worms would learn to say the word GROSS with feelings.

So short of decapitating all of them, I just wrote a premature but certainly heartfelt eulogy should my wish for their early demise come into fruition (with all possible haste, if you please).

There is absolutely no reasoning with these inveterate grumps because even the most brilliant philosopher would go stark raving mad given half the chance to argue with their convoluted logic.

They want things done and learned like we could all command the sun to stop shinning! Worse, their instructions almost always come in pairs as if we're all certifiable morons by birth who can't get things done without constant repetition.

And their photographic memory is simply astounding. Really. Regardless of the circumstance or justification, all our mistakes are in precise chronological order which they can recall at any given time to suit their perverted purposes (which primarily includes honing their oratorical prowess).

My slightly generous nature prompted me to share. I mean, this is my way of cutting down the extremely possible risk of my slow but sure plunge down the drain straight to an asylum. And I could at least stop myself from going bungee jumping (in Macau, perhaps) without the rope if I'm glued to this very slow pc in the training room waiting for my boss.

So there. Whinning sure is a great way to relieve stress. You guys should try it sometimes.

There. I feel a thousand times better now. Just send me your optometrist's bill if you somehow ended up with an irreversible eye damage from reading this. I couldn't seem to stop myself once I started. Sorry. And thank you. That is, if you were able to endure my literary masterpiece until this part where I can say that you either read this out of curiosity or just because you have nothing better to do (just kidding). And for the record, this particular sentiment is not a summary of my general disposition in life. I'm normally good natured (my friends would shout a resounding NOOOOO but their opinion doesn't count since they still love me despite my ..uh.. occassional temper). I have to cut this short. About time I did anyway.

alteration of comfort

Believe me, this is going to hurt me too. Tears are streaming down my face. A convoluted mixture of emotions. Hurt. Pressure. Stress.

The pain you are about to feel will also be my pain, although not too long ago, mine had not been yours. I should have warned you before everything began; I should have told you about my flaw before I let you in my world. Maybe I would not need to do this. To hurt you will not be easy.

It has been written over and over, happy is the person who finds joy in sunshine through a window, bliss in smilies and random text messages, music in the laughter of playing children, pleasure in a borrowed book read over a lazy weekend.

And many believed.

Yet few realized the repercussions of living in the little things. Because just as they are the trinkets of happiness in our every day, they are, when neglected, constant reminders of what is unrequited.

The little things never were important to you, in the same way, I am inclined to think, I never was.

I am angry. I am hurt. And before all the hurting turns to hate, over which I am afraid I have no control, I must hurt you back. You are the reason. Somehow, you have yet to see that.

I remember how, as a child, I used to skip dinner whenever my mother would beat me. It was cruel, knowing how she would later feel guilty about her daughter hungering the whole night; it was nonetheless the perfect strategy to get what I wanted.

At a very young age, I discovered how pain changes people.

It is solitude in a vacant seat that shows us who and what really matter, indifference in empty conversations that reminds us of the people and things we have taken for granted.

Pain confronts us with the realities happiness cannot. Pain is liberating.

Do not be afraid. It is still I, the one who taught you the magic of finding Polaris using the Big Dipper, the one who showed you sanctuary in the warmth over a cup of chocolate, the one with whom you transformed the unrelenting rain into a shower of sanity.

It is still I, I who will hurt when I see you hurt.

This is a cycle that must come to pass.

When it does, I do hope you forgive me, as I would forgive you. I just wish you were with me, old self! You're the only family I have.

fairytales

She was reared by her biological parents. She grew up like a robot. She was started reading at the age of four and to her mom's excitement sent her to school at five. She was smart. Very smart. Her mom wanted her so much to excel to the point of snatching her childhood away from her. While other kids were playing outside, she was to read and study and make sure she aced her exams. Life was a living hell. She was obliged to join singing, painting, declamation and other contests againts her will. Everytime she wins, her mom will be beaming with pride but if she loses, she would be blue all over. Her mom would beat her up like she wasn't even a daughter. She would cry to the top of her lungs but her mom wouldnt care to listen and continue beating her up. She never understood why her mom did this. Why second place was nothing at all. She grow up thinking that being number one is the only thing that can make her mom happy. Her only option was to be on top of the class by the end of the school year otherwise her mom will never be talking to her. She developed a chronic fear of failure when on a National Essay Writing Contest, she placed only second. She saw her mom walked out of the auditorium leaving her to her teacher's care. Her mom couldnt accept the fact that for three consecutive years, her daughter was number one in the whole Philippines for feature writing contest and the last year of her supposed reign, she only placed second. She cried the hardest that day and vowed never to join any contests, never again. Her heart was torn a million pieces when her parents chose not to attend her high school graduation because she failed to graduate Valedictorian. Being second will never be enough. She received her high school diploma without anyone to cheer for her. Not a single family member was in the audience, She lived one hell of a life. Full of anguish and sorrow. Pain and suffering. Her parents had other stations to look after and eventually decided to part ways. Her brother, whom she dearly loves on the other hand, was brought up by her father in anger and fear. She lived with her dad and bro for a time but after that, she couldn’t wait to scutter away from them. The inevitable parting didn’t leave her unscathed. The dad and the brother went to Canada but she chose to stay. The truth is, as a result she’d inflicted herself some damages, some easily rectified, the others, irreparable.

That girl was me.

But life did go on. Five years had passed since the day I walked out of my father’s house after telling him that I won’t ever be coming back (hay well, I came back). And 15 years after my mom left us leaving me at a loss.

My life, like what I’ve said before, is stereotyped. We all have our own stories and cross to bear after all. These lives only differ in terms of how they were lived, being lived, and is going to be live and how they handle their stumbling blocks or stepping stones, and most importantly, how they use their lot of life.

In my case, I was momentarily blinded. Living my life in terms of the past. It was like falling asleep for years and waking up wondering what had happened to my life. Oh, not fell asleep as in Sleeping Beauty waiting for her Prince to come and do his cue. But it was living a life uncaring and unthinking of tomorrow. I used to ask myself, “What’s the use of studying? What for? When no one seemed to care if I did!” What for indeed? It was stupid and I knew it but I chose to be blind anyway. I didn’t stop to ask myself why not. I guess I just enrolled in a school to absolve my guilty conscience. Then I would tell myself, ‘I wish I stayed 7 years old.’

Although in retrospect, if I remained as I were, I realized that I would never grow, I would never learn. It is unnerving, how people would step into our lives and change us forever. It could be a good change, or a bad one that it could leave you scarred for life. Changes that could obliterate your reasoning and your line of thinking. But then, what’s being rational got to do with feelings/emotions? I’ve certainly learned some hard lessons (and facts in life) the hard way and I’m not about to forget them. I was young, I still am, and I lacked the judgment of an adult. But then again, it was harder for youngsters to hold on to life when all their idealisms and hopes and dreams are being shattered right in front of their own unblinking eyes. When people around them were not what they seemed to be. It made them wonder if there are such things as love, fairness, justice, truths, rights, and sometimes, God. And then sometimes we thought everything’s all right already; we believe it so badly we could taste it, only to be faced with stark, lurid truths in life. Leaving us just the same. I had it all, idealism, enthusiasm, hopes, and dreams. Then, and now.

When I came to my senses, I only had myself to scold, and blame, yes, but also to understand. It was wrong of me to forget my plans and give up my dreams and hopes. What was it that a poet had said? “To be without dreams is to be without hope, to be without hope is to be without purpose.” I know now what I want: I want to be a part of a bigger world. A world other than mine.

Sometimes I have this gnawing feeling that my dreams are impossible and hopeless to carry out. But I try to set aside those feelings because I believe in chances, however slim those chances are. And I try to set aside fears and miseries. If we have fears, as in fear of making mistakes (and repeating them) and fear of taking risks, we will never learn how to be brave. They simply are not the stuffs wherein life are made of. I try to set aside these feelings because I believe that something wonderful could happen in this life too. But most importantly, I believe in my dreams because I believe that fairy tales do come true, fairy tales like Cinderella stories, and we all know that Cinderella stories always have happy endings...

Someday, I'll have my own hapy ending.. Someday...

mindless!

I am in the bottomless pit, trying to climb pass the jagged walls of frustrations and inequities. I live in a cycle.... A circle. I go round and round, endless with my pursuits... not really knowing where I am going. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I need. I don't know what to do. Expectations just smother me, they constrict my sense of freedom!

Life, it seems, has hovered me with the dark clouds of perplexity. I am trapped in a mirage, confused with meaningless quests. I dared to be different, only ending up like fool. Clutter. I am that word. Satiated with smog and contaminated with toxicity. I am waiting for nothing. Embarking on a venture leading nowhere. I am loving no one, except my own misery. My home is so far away. Tears dripping. No one sees. No one hears. I live in my own sanitarium, safely tucked in the devil's embrace. I scream for salvation. I shout for my sanity. Can't anybody hear me? Can't anybody tell?

You! Yes, YOU! Better leave me alone. You have no room here. I am all locked up. I feel safe in my own desolation. Why bother with all the nuisance? Do you search for answers? Trust me, all you will ever get are questions. Why deprive yourself with me? I am empty. You will gain nothing. Aren't you aware? I am unreal... masked with uncertainty; hidden in the facade of false pretenses.

I am forever lost. Death is interminably a gaping part of my loom. Maybe that is the tonic for my pain; the remedy for my anguish.

Somebody save me from this abyss!

Stuck in dumb days!

I know.. This is another post for today but I can't help it. I'm bored and listless and am just trying to pry myself to sleep. Tsk!

I am 25 years old. And days from now,I'll be having my birthday again. Not much to it. I hate the feeling of getting old. People would ask me this brainless question, 'So, how does it feel to now that it's you've turned a year older?' Duh!!!!! I feel like a year older! So what else is new? People grow old and they die. Then maggots feed on your rotting carcass while you turn into dust. Hard facts of life, eh? Well, you just need to make the most out of your life while you have it. Live with it, dude!

Today is January 13. Not that am so conscious about what date is today but then there's just nothing inside this void brain of mine that I can think of... yeah, don't curse me for revealing a fact that when you're brain gets so full of bits and pieces of scraps, all you could do is stare at the nothingness unable to let loose of the single thread of sanity you're consumed with...

Right now I am struggling to find the reasons for living. I'm 25 and I feel like 60! My 20's in a capsule? Hmmmm.... I don't know what I've accomplished. I've got zero to brag about.

You see, life is not like the 'monkey see, monkey do' concept. It doesn't work that way. You learn on your own. You have got to find your own niche in this world. You have to be loud to be heard by the majority and to be understood. I've been screaming all my life. I'm tired. But it seems that no one hears me. It's partly my fault. I seldom allow people to permeate through me. Don't be fooled by the clean-handed exterior. It's just a front. If you must know, I'm all broken up inside. Behind the warm smiles and emphatic laughter is a dismembered soul. This is primarily the reason why I am not ready to commit in a serious relationship yet. I'm empty and I've got nothing to offer. Know what I mean?

I don't know what is wrong with me. People, with the cleanest of intentions, would advise me that I need to look at the bright side of life and to just trust God. Do you think I don't know that crap? Please don't insult my intelligence. I am not that futile. I used to long for death. I used to pray for the eternal sleep; just dissappear on the brink of oblivion. I feel that my life is totally wasted. But now, I am trying to enforce on myself a much positive outlook on life. I need to be in the presence of positive people for me not to wallow in my concocted misery. Damn, why can't I just be free?

For the past couple of days, I feel stupid. A friend of mine told me that I'm smart. Yeah right! Tell that to the fishes! I guess I'm feeling this way because.... because... I dunno... Well, you can't help but feel shitty at times.. Feeling like a piece of garbage!

I will be 25 soon and I am still stuck in the dumb days. I should have learned my lessons by now but I guess I'm still playing stupid. Someday, I shall free myself from all these horse shit.

PUHLLLEZZZ!!! I need to be free!

Kingdom of they Who Choose to be Blind!

Know what they say about chivalry? That it's dead? Well, activism suffered the same fate too. In this part of the City, at least. In the own company that I work with.

Was talking to "F" earlier and he gave me his sentiments on how rotten and evil the promotion in his department is. I share the same sentiments. Not because I suffered the same fate (he applied for a position that was not given to him for reasons he couldnt take. What's worse is the person who got hired is an "incompetent freak" who just "smiles her away on a task left undone!" That irked him more and he can't help but rant to the point of him wanting to pull out his banners and start an uprising... (woooohoooooo)

Anyways, where our society is continually plagued by social and political scandals, where national and world crisis don't just dominate TV screens but infiltrate our very homes and personal lives (despite our lack of consciousness about it), one would think that being under all these circumstances would rouse, well, more than mild reaction to say the least.

That activism and rebellion are the same IS A MISCONCEPTION. Proactive individuals know that to react does not necessarily entail taking to the streets to rage rebellion. The weight of our company's distress calls not for quick fixes but for wise, incorruptible, and competent governance, and too much radicalism and activism would only rock the boat even harder; whereas too little of those would be like handing the remote to the control freak.

Proactive individuals know that to react means more than just to grasp in shock (while the couches our bums are sitting on, absorb all the shcok). To react would be to get that bump and drag it outdoors to do a little clipping and pulling of the backyard weeds. It's not exactly saving the world, but then again how exactly do we expect to save the world when we can't even keep our backyards safe?

Well, we are in a setting where the seat of activism is not felt. But for me, this does not indicate that there is nothing left to complain about because we are aware that the company that we're all connected with is far from perfect. Protests and elaborate complaints do not abound as much as they do in other companies but there are still whispered and whimpered complaints nontheless to which the company's computers and walls bear mute witness, because let's face it, it's human nature to pick. Obviously, there is a lack of reaction and feeling. It's like throwing a stone into the lake and seeing no ripples in effect. There is something disgruntling about it.

It's apathy in all it's new found glory. Trivial and consequential matters have placed issues and rights in many people's books. Complaints seemingly fall on deaf ears. Needs remain unattended yet again, it might be that our kings themselves are the ones who choose to be so indiffirent and apathetic. The vast majority of employees opt to just zip their mouths. Or maybe since activism is very much frowned upon and there have been no moves to address the plight of some, they have simply grown numb. Either way is just as bad.

Yeah, things sometimes are given casual regard and passive indifference! Reasons could be becaue people are already tired of the seemingly vicious cycle we are in. Appearing unperturbed seems to be the national mantra.

The flippant attitude of employees and the tolerance of the company has for it are but projections of what little we desire we have to create change and how often we hand over the remote to the control freak. And in this institution where remote freaks take the form of authorities who create their own complicated processes, apathy is tantamount to plotting our own slow demise. There is utter blindness to what goes on right under our noses! We dream of preopelling ourselves out into what we call the real world,but we have so little care of what goes on in our very own place.

The weeds are already particularly tall in out backyard. The backyard is the first place to start trimming. And to the backyard we shall go.

Leaders: Born or Made?

The issue about the characteristic of someone who was born dwells on the subject of nature. And “Natural,” by definition extends to all that occurs along the laws of nature. It would just be logical then to claim that leaders are not natural. More than that, a leader is not born a leader because if the case were the other way around, it would be possible then to characterize “leadership pregnancies” or leadership diets for mothers and such other frivolous and absurd terms.

A leader, I reckon, arises because of human conditions – due to the needs of human to socialize and inevitably fall into a pattern of social organization, because this organization needs to be facilitated and because we know that it needs a governing body. All these arise because our social nature dictates us to cause them to do so… not because the autonomous function of our biological makeup dictates us to fall into this order.

Because such an order arises and everyone is assumed to be concerned with the survival of the organization in which his survival of the organization entirely depends, a tendency for the members to struggle is consequent. The interplay of the members in turn create a call for someone who is more skillful in dragging them to the betterment of their status.

But then again, it can be argued that we are all born leaders because everyone has the opportunity to become leaders. The only requirement to achieving that is through training. And what is the best training? How we handle our own respective lives. We all lead our lives. If we govern our thoughts and decisions correctly, then we will have a life towards positivity. This is a good sign of great leadership – when ourselves were governed by us constructively. Thus, it is just right to spread the positivity, progress and betterment that we have. To be a part of a certain group of people and indoctrinate them with these learnings.

I believe that we are all born leaders but this belief is boxed inside where the context of possibilities arise. Genuine leadership requires being molded into it. Marcos was not born to be a leader. He was born a wise man that is. He used his knowledge to govern and he became successful. If he weren’t educated well and remained illiterate, he would not have the qualities that people look for and he wouldn’t be elected as Philippine president for two terms. How about Andres Bonifacio? In his case, he doesn’t need to earn a degree just to hold his being the Supremo ng Katipunan. His courage and bravery catapulted him to such. If he wasn’t molded to acquire such characteristics and grew up to be timid, shy and easily frightened, he wouldn’t be a Supremo.

The emergence of leaders around us require many things. You don’t just get born and eventually lead. Possibility, yes. But the probability remains questionable until you have proven something.

Requiescat in Pace

We are the sleep-deprived people. We work while the rest of the Philippines is dozing off. To put it bluntly, we are comparable to vampires, nocturnal creatures that prowl by night and slumber when the sun rises. It can be a vicious cycle to live by day in and day out. For the unfortunate many, they don’t have the stamina to live this kind of lifestyle. We see people come and go all the time. Death is interminably a gaping part of the loom. Suffice it to say, resignations are not a shocker at all.

Aside from the nocturnal existence, the job creates impulses, which trigger pressure points. On our 8-hour shift, we put our ass on the hot seat. We are the pawns of the 1-800 world.

We are called by various names. Customer Service Representatives. Call Center Agents. The worst label I got was from an irate caller who described me as a “f*ck*ng telephone operator”. (I took calls for more than 4 years, you know.) Talk about the sensitivity of a linoleum! That was an episode that made me grit my teeth.

The concurrence of a very powerful technology puts reps, into the oppression line. Customers call for one apparent reason: to have their problems resolved. They expect results. They want reps to deliver them the good news. We are, more or less, their salvation army.

With this hodge-podge at hand, some calls are badly intertwined in the sadistic psyche. Some callers expect so much from us yet in the end it turns out that expectations were not met. Thus come dead-end calls.

In a split second, callers morphed into vicious diablos that spit scorching hot fire from the other end. This is where the saga of an irate caller begins. (For those who have received calls like these let me hear you say AMEN!)

This consequently has perverse effects. Customers can be so damn insensitive and tactless at times. They can be so intellectually challenged more often than not (just being politically correct here).

I have witnessed agents on the floor fall from grace under pressure. Others crack and break. Fellas, this should not be the case. With all the tête-à-tête about delivering excellent customer service and improving call handling skills (which I have no objections to), there are just callers who don’t get the picture. Can we summon up the courage to inform them they they’re just playing dumb? These people make me want to get a knife and shove it into their thick skull to let them understand that their issue is a hopeless case. No matter what you do, there will be people who will disapprove of it. We cannot please everyone so it is foolish to even try. It is time-consuming and energy draining.

In as much as we cater to the concept of universal tolerance, we have no choice but to join the bandwagon for resilience. We got to admit that without these bad calls it would definitely cut the zest for innovations and challenge. A rep's life would be like a smooth flat road — safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. Besides, this is basically the nature of the business and of the job.

The more the bowstring is pulled back, the faster the arrow will fly. The more we are pushed back by these irate callers, the more potential we can develop for moving forward and developing our craft.

Let us learn the good side of every bad call. It would be highly practical for us to grow a thick skin and learn to appear unperturbed, always maintaining our composure. Detachment is the key here. These callers are hundreds and thousands of miles away from us. Never let their verbal daggers get the better of us. We know more than they ever will. We have been armed with the knowledge and skills instilled through rigorous months of training. They are calling for help and not the other way around. We are their messiahs!

This is, of course, a rhetorical concept. But whether or not it’s destined or not, but boon and not bane, we can opine that our fate is in our hands.

Our job is to help. Customers may not always be right but they should be treated rightly. Under the moon and the stars, we prowl the night not to look for prey, but to bear the torch that will guide them from being prey themselves. Sounds cheesy but true. Make sense? Just catch the drift, will yah?!

weapon of mass destruction

I just had the funniest conversation with a supervisor here at the office via sms. Funny how this guy drives me nuts with his witty antics. We would talk about anything under the sun - from the way he wears his hair to how I cut my nails. Our topic earlier revolved around the word 'Septic Tank‘. He ennumerated employees with a weapon of mass destruction: halitosis or in layman’s term, bad breath and I just can't help myself but laugh the whole time.

So out of curiousity and of course for reputation's sake, I asked him if my breath smelled bad. (haha! It pays to ask you know!) I felt relieved that he said "No! Otherwise I wouldnt be talking with you about this stuff, crazy! " I would probably slash my throat with a knife if he bluntly gave me a "yes!".

I value conversation. I just love exchanging ideas with someone; pick his or her brains out and we could both immerse in an intellectual intercourse (nothin sexual, ayt? Tehee!). But it is just so dreadful when you start to notice that there is a gross and abominable odor coming from the person you’re speaking with. That just stinks! And it’s frightening since you have to bear with the smell of a rotting carcass from your friend’s mouth. Ewwwww! How bad can it get? That’s just depressing, ya’ll!

Please go get a vacuum and shove it down your throat. I’m bad, I know… so sue me!

train full of thoughts

I have been staring at the monitor for a good few minutes, but still i have not written down anything logical. My mind is not totally blank as it usually is. It's just unfortunate that, I can't write anything down. Well, that usually happens anyway. But, alas, when I'm on a jeepney or on the way somewhere, thoughts just start jumping around in my head and I have no way of jotting them down! Has nobody invented some sort of mind reader thingy that can type down thoughts as they come? It would have been so sad to let those thoughts go into waste. hehehe.... But having a mind ready thingy would be downright freaky, just the same.One of my friends wants me to take up German speech lessons. Just for kicks, she said. Blame it on my blurting out on how she wished I could understand German so that we can talk and nobody would understand us --- at least those who don't understand Deutsch wouldn't.

L's comment made me remember this funny (and oh so embarassing) incident that happened when I was with a gay friend. We were in line in an ice cream place and before us was this young mother with a few weeks old baby boy on her arm. My friend, being the observant lady that she is, pointed out to me that her breasts were just too darn big. Of course, my friend said these in gay lingo thinking that the girl wouldn't understand what she said.

Tired of discussing somebody's breasts even though the person was in front of us, I said something to my friend, still in gay lingo, about the baby's hair being so abundant. That's when the lady turned and asked if we were talking about her baby's hair. Turned out that she understood the language perfectly well. (kauwaw!)

That taught us not too assume that those around us wouldn't understand what we are saying. hehehe... But i'm still contemplating on ther german speech lessons though. Maybe for a change, once i learn how to speak Deutsch, L and I can talk about my gay friend without him understanding a word.

haha.... wicked!

...

Hello! I know it's been a couple of days since my last post. I have been very busy with stuff. I've got tons of problems to attend to and solutions have been very elusive lately.

What's new with me? I've been really thinking lately. I mean really thinking hard about things, places and events. I figured, I've got to start the year right and that there are things that needs to be resolved really.

"S" has been giving me a hard time lately. Or should I say, I have been giving myself a pretty hard time with him. Don't get me wrong. Things are really over. There's no point or need turning back but then again, I can't and will always not be able to control over my emotions. Figuratiely speaking, I am having difficulty letting the whole thing with him go. The sad thing is, I pretend to be okay when I' around people because I know it's what's appropriate but hey, I cant be pretentious all the time. I am still hurting and eventhough how hard I try to suppress the way I way, It shows in how I deal with people around me. I know there are a lot of things to concentrate on rather than focus on how I feel towards him but hey, I must admit that when it's my emotions involved, the whole world stops. :p

Why am I ranting? He hasn't been responding to my texts since Friday and it is really not him. I know... I know... It is paranoia on the works but hey, you can't blame me. or may be it's just me who is expecting so much from him? or maybe the whole idea of him and me has consumed me so much that I've literally built my world around him? Either way, I still wonder and I am affected.. Seriously!

Got people from Chase to visit the site and we're a bit pressured. "First impressions last", they all say so we're kinda obliged to do better. It's different when our jobs are on the line, you know. Whew! I'm crossing my fingers they'd really make a good impression on us. I mean we've (training team) have been religiously working our ass off in preparation for their visit. There's the wearing of three inches heels while wiping dust off our cupboards and taking off posters while on make up. It's not a good sight to look at but hey, twas fun and it makes me appreciate those people cleaning the rooms for us everyday. :) So to all of you reading this post, please help me pray for the client visit to be successful. :) We went through hell and back for this.

I'll keep you posted for more things to happen. The year of the ox didnt give me a good start and I believe if I allow this to go on and on, I might drag myself to the bottomless pit my the middle of the year. So now, am hitching my wagons to the stars, trying to search for greater heights!

Laws and MIRC

I was really bored last Saturday that I decided to hit a coffee shop with my laptop and surf my heart out. After hours of surfing, I decided to open Mirc and have fun. When I say "fun" I would mean going to #cebu and type "any sensible men, message me." I do this because I find it amusing to talk to strangers who can speak their mind. Believe me, it's fun. Although it's rare really that you'ld find sensible men to talk to in the IRC because most of which are just airheads who would want sex eye balls. Duh! And I find it also fun because I get to pretend someone else. Like I would say I'm a fast food crew, a sales lady, a call center agent or even a construction worker just looking around and killing time. Anways, after seconds, one stray soul messaged. Handle was "RatPack". He said he was 28 and works as a legal assistant somewhere. I didnt beieve really the facts he gave about him but in fairness, he was smart. He read a lot and mentioned books that I was also interested in. This time, I pretended I was a student taking up Political Science in some university. I assumed the role because I thought it would make a strong topic. And I was not wrong. We talked for 3 hours and it plainly revolved around the law and how unfair it is especially if it already involves women and sex. :) No, it wasn't a dirty conversation if I may say. :p He bade goodbye after 3 hours because he had an urgent thing to do but before he left he asked for my number because according to him (verbatim to wit) "I'll call you one of these days so we can have coffee together and talk. You seem to be a very smart and interesting person. Pretty please?" His moronic pleas didn't succeed. :)

Anyways, speaking of the laws I was talking about, I thought I'd share 10 things I know that might come in handy to you. These are facts from the laws of the Philippine Republic to help your sexual activities legal. I got exposed to these stuff because I got so engrossed with my Philippine COnstitution subject in college. My teacher (Mr. Alfredo Ticong) was one hell of a smart guy and if he wasn't married, I would have stalked him and begged my ass off just to be his girlfriend. :p Here goes:

1. We all know having sex in a car parked in a public place is illegal, but just how illegal? Sex within public view is illegal enough to get you and your lover a month to half a year in prison.
2. Rape is committed by a man having intercourse with a woman in any of the following circumstances, namely: a) through force, threat or intimidation; b) when the offended party is deprived of reason; c) by means of fraudulent machination or abuse of authority; or finally, as mentioned earlier d) when the offended party is below twelve years old. Letter B leads us to ask if having sex with a drunk woman (who has not passed out) can be considered rape. The answer lies in the case of State vs. Lung, wherein the court held that "where the consent is induced by the administration of drugs or liquor, which incites her passions but does not deprive her of her will power, the accused is NOT guilty of rape." So guys, as long as the gin pomelo with betsin you gave her has not deprived her of reason, having sex with her is not rape.
3. Republic Act No. 8353, which took effect on October 22, 1997 amended the Revised Penal Code and declared that the crime of rape can be committed by both male and female. Women commit rape by jamming any instrument or object into another person's genital or anal orifice under the same circumstances as normal rape.
4. Under Article 247 of the Revised Penal Code a husband or wife who catches his or her spouse in the act of having sexual intercourse with another person and who kills or injures either of them or both will not go to jail. The said article punishes the killer of a penalty called "destierro" which is somewhat like a restraining order.
5. Under the same article, parents who kill the seducers of their daughters (who are living with them and are below 18 years old) immediately after catching or surprising them in the act of having sexual intercourse will not go jail but will suffer the mere penalty of destierro.
6. In the case of People vs. Saylan, the Court imposed a higher penalty than that ordinarily prescribed for rape when the accused committed rape in the dog style. The manner in which the crime was committed was seen as an aggravating circumstance which consequently, increased the penalty.
7. To charge a married woman of adultery, the husband need only prove that the wife has had sexual intercourse with another man at least once. Adultery carries a penalty of 2 years 4 months and 1 day to 6 years. On the other hand, to charge a married man of concubinage, the wife has to prove either: a) that the husband has kept the mistress in the conjugal dwelling; b) that he has had sexual intercourse with the mistress under scandalous circumstances; or c) that he has cohabited with her in any other place. Therefore, a single act of sexual intercourse by a married man does not constitute any crime. In addition, concubinage compared to adultery, carries only a penalty of 6 months and 1 day to 4 years and 2 months.
8. If you are planning to have sex with a woman of good repute who is under 18 but over 12, do not induce her to submit to your lustful desires by promising her marriage. If you do this, you open yourself to a charge of simple seduction which is punishable by 1 to 6 months in jail.
9. Touching a woman's breast without her consent constitutes either the crime of Acts of Lasciviousness or Unjust Vexation depending on the man's intentions and the circumstances surrounding the act. If it is done with lewd designs, the crime is acts of lasciviousness. This carries the penalty of 6 months and 1 day to 6 years in prison. If however the touching was done only to vex or spite the girl, the offense is unjust vexation. Unjust vexation equates to 1 day to 1 month in prison.
10. The rule in number 9 is different if the touching was done in a theater. Touching your date's tits in a movie theater against her objections is always an act of lasciviousness. Lustful intentions are presumed.

Hay! See how unfair the law is to us women especially if we talk about adultery and concubinage? Tsk! I know, I could be mouthy at times but who cares? The fact that I have say at least 9 mouths forming a one - woman conference gives me all the right to rant. :)

blogs and issues

I have been staring at my monitor for 5 minutes now and I can't seem to write down anything sensible. I have random thoughts in my brain that i can't seem to organize. This is what you get for reporting to work and you've got nothing to do. I mean we are supposed to prepare the rooms and do some shredding but we aren't starting yet so here I am doodling my way on the keyboard while Jib is busy with his PSP. His sudden outbursts of "Hoi buang!... Naunsa!" and other jibberish stuff make me turn my head in awe as to how such a small thing as the PSP can turn you into a freak. (peace, Jib!)

Anyways, "what are your reasons for blogging?" Somebody once asked me.

Though the thought of having total strangers get into the inner workings of my mind scares the living daylights out of me, I still continue to blog. Though I know how I live my life or how my thoughts could be against others, I still do. Simply because I do this for my self. My own reasons. My own outlet to my angst. I blog because I need to. It's not so much because I want to generate pings or what not. I write because I don't know how else I could deal with these thoughts.

Now tell me what are your reasons for blogging?

personalities and Sex and the City

When the series started to grow like mushroom, most of my friends recommended Sex and the City but I never really entertained the thought of watching it until earlier. My friend gave me a DVD of the movie and I chose to watch it rather than wasting all my time with the series. God, Id rather get hooked with CSI than such chick flick! (no offense to the fans!)

In fairness, it wasnt as bad as it seemed to be so when he was online earlier, we had a short discussion. He flat out said that she's a Carrie. That made me think. Who the hell am I then?I remember that in my psychology class, we discussed about the Johari Window and it's four quadrants - Arena, Facade, Blind and Unknown.

Well... My friend views me as a Charlotte. (I know! You need not raise your eyebrows. I also contest!) Why? Beats the living daylights out of me. She said that i'm like this innocent sweetest lil thing. Okay, whatever... whatever. Like she'd never imagine I have this wild streak when it's full moon and I have a drink on one hand. :p

But I've always been a Carrie to myself. I tend to act so certain of myself on certain days, and not so certain at others. I always seem to want to live life to the fullest, not wanting to look back and deal with the what ifs and the what could have beens. I then exhaust all possible means, wanting to know the deal deal with every lil thing. This actually gets me in trouble the most. What can i say... I'm a thinker.

Itend to act like Miranda to others. I tend to analyze and I try so hard not letting my emotional boO-hOo crap slip out... But they eventually do. I tend to act so cool on the outside not wanting just anybody to get past my defenses. Well... you get the picture.

Only when I have alcoholic drinks on my hand do I become Samantha. That and if it was a full moon. Those two have to happen at the same time. On or the other won't do. So it's safe to say that my Samantha side almost never gets to see the outside world. But she's free to roam in my imagination.

So there. hmm... makes you think I'm a freakish confused person, don't yah? I've got more personalities than I can handle, I think. hehehe...

resolutions and possibilities

"I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on new year's day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on new year's day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second." - Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones's Diary

So what would be on your list this year? I never actually worked on my resolutions until last year. I figured, it wouldn't do me harm to actually try to stick to improving myself... So there. Looking back, i'm actually proud of what i've become. It's not much, but it's been a struggle. Just emotional issues, mostly.

It's a new year. it just makes me smile thinking of the possibilities. How about you? have you found a reason to smile for the coming 365 days?