My random thoughts right now are trying to put the chaos around me into order. I've always been a very transparent person; an introverted fellow at that. I find it hard to adapt in an environment that I am unfamiliar with. Certain awkward situations scare the hell out of me. I become aloof and distant.
I prefer to be sheltered in my own comfort zone. I hate unfamiliar territory.
Being in an offbeat group daunts me. I prefer to stay quite and just stay in a corner letting tha people around me do their stuff. I feel alienated to their circle, thus I shut people out. I may be physically present but I'm actually mentally absent.
This is my weakness. If I don't mesh well with the crowd, anxiety gets the hold of me. I hate the fuckin feeling of being out of place.
Have you ever been in a meeting or in a gathering where everyone acts so bubbly and loquacious and there you are, not knowing what to do or say? Shit! Just today, I had that experience. Trust me, I felt like walking out or concoct some lame story just to escape. Unfortunately, there was no way out for me. I had to be with this group of people. I was compelled.
Sometimes, I ask myself if I really am that socially inept? Am I? With the people that I am close with, I could be the most intense conversationalist and a blaring joker. I guess it takes time for me to adjust to new people. I don't open up that easily. Insecurity is my main enemy in this arena. I just have to loosen up.
Let this post help me to further refine and clarify my own thinking. Shit, I need a goddam shrink!
I prefer to be sheltered in my own comfort zone. I hate unfamiliar territory.
Being in an offbeat group daunts me. I prefer to stay quite and just stay in a corner letting tha people around me do their stuff. I feel alienated to their circle, thus I shut people out. I may be physically present but I'm actually mentally absent.
This is my weakness. If I don't mesh well with the crowd, anxiety gets the hold of me. I hate the fuckin feeling of being out of place.
Have you ever been in a meeting or in a gathering where everyone acts so bubbly and loquacious and there you are, not knowing what to do or say? Shit! Just today, I had that experience. Trust me, I felt like walking out or concoct some lame story just to escape. Unfortunately, there was no way out for me. I had to be with this group of people. I was compelled.
Sometimes, I ask myself if I really am that socially inept? Am I? With the people that I am close with, I could be the most intense conversationalist and a blaring joker. I guess it takes time for me to adjust to new people. I don't open up that easily. Insecurity is my main enemy in this arena. I just have to loosen up.
Let this post help me to further refine and clarify my own thinking. Shit, I need a goddam shrink!
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