The days have been so slow lately. They remind me of ripples on the brittle page of the hymnal in the church.
I wish I were back in Moalboal basking on the mid day sun or just smelling the air that caresses the bright red and yellow hibiscus. Or enjoying the night watching the moon sailing on the skies like a sultry goddess. I guess that would have been a better alternative than counting the coffee stains or the silvery sugar grains on the white table cover. I move my feet, they drag like old boats on the wooden tiles…
It is starting to rain. The raindrops are dancing on the sill. I wanna see myself soaking the rain’s opulent passion. I wanna enjoy it more when the lights are out and we are sipping vodka mixes in tall glasses.
The days have been so slow and I have no choice but to waste time. There’s too much of it anyway. I need something to delude the monotony of too much time. I need a new clock …a faster clock…no I need something---an engaging element…not a book---it did not work. I need a better engaging element to break the pointless-ness of counting sugar grains on the coffee-stained table cover.
The rain has stopped. I have consumed three sets of toxic buzz and raging river and a sprig of highlight. I have smoked a pack of Menthol lights in my head…written a dozen pitiful scribbles on the sides of my favorite book.
I am drunk again. Again I am drunk- drunk I entertain my musings like a Storyteller lifts colors in her head. It mocks me like the soiled sparrows owning the cracks under the roof. I toss the last contents of the vodka It cuts a fiery trail down my throat. I can see a dragon riding a rainbow behind the windows. My eyes are playing those damn tricks again…
Yes, I'm beginning to taste your absence but this is what's best for me.
Damn, I why did I ever fall for you?
I wish I were back in Moalboal basking on the mid day sun or just smelling the air that caresses the bright red and yellow hibiscus. Or enjoying the night watching the moon sailing on the skies like a sultry goddess. I guess that would have been a better alternative than counting the coffee stains or the silvery sugar grains on the white table cover. I move my feet, they drag like old boats on the wooden tiles…
It is starting to rain. The raindrops are dancing on the sill. I wanna see myself soaking the rain’s opulent passion. I wanna enjoy it more when the lights are out and we are sipping vodka mixes in tall glasses.
The days have been so slow and I have no choice but to waste time. There’s too much of it anyway. I need something to delude the monotony of too much time. I need a new clock …a faster clock…no I need something---an engaging element…not a book---it did not work. I need a better engaging element to break the pointless-ness of counting sugar grains on the coffee-stained table cover.
The rain has stopped. I have consumed three sets of toxic buzz and raging river and a sprig of highlight. I have smoked a pack of Menthol lights in my head…written a dozen pitiful scribbles on the sides of my favorite book.
I am drunk again. Again I am drunk- drunk I entertain my musings like a Storyteller lifts colors in her head. It mocks me like the soiled sparrows owning the cracks under the roof. I toss the last contents of the vodka It cuts a fiery trail down my throat. I can see a dragon riding a rainbow behind the windows. My eyes are playing those damn tricks again…
Yes, I'm beginning to taste your absence but this is what's best for me.
Damn, I why did I ever fall for you?
1 comment:
Dear Anne, take solace, if there is any to be taken, in the fact that you are not alone, we have all been asking that last question throughout the ages, though that makes Your asking, no less heartfelt or human.
In your other writings you have debated with yourself, if your falling for this guy was a weakness, and you concluded that it wasn't. And I was glad to read that :)
For I myself, have only been in love once, and have spent 12 long years aking myself the same question..."Damn why did I ever..."
It's because we are human that we can feel this kind of pain, but it makes the colours of the canvas of our being all the richer for it :)
The only weakness I could suggest is the booze musings, and thats a weakness I claim for myself, and don't suggest that you suffer from.
I have wasted 12years of my life in such entangled introspection, don't share my fate :) Your too bright :)
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