so much hurt!

The last time I was broken was eons of years ago. I almost lost my self in the process. And I vowed to my self, I will never be that broken again. But what can I say. History repeats itself. It occured to me again in the middle of daydreaming and solitude... "L" and excahnged messages and she told me that "S" texted her something. The text message from "S" to "L" angered me so much so I sent him the following:

M: What the hell did I ever do to you? I tried containing everything "S"! I didnt want to react to anything. Your actuations that fluctuate every now and then. I tried asking what's wrong but you never said a word. I respected that silence. But this? This is too much!

S: kabw ka, wa rajd ta nag.abot. f ok ra nmo, stryaon tani krn para maklaro... the past few days ky d lng jd ko kastrya ug ka tagad ky nglagot ko sa uban panghtbo, bt l jd ko nglgot nmo f u must knw.

M: Your wayward texts say a lot. You're disappointed. You want to get mad but you cant. Everythin. Now you can say anythin you want to say. Think whatever you want to think, I dont care anymore. This is already and irrepairable damage. And I'm so stupid for trying so hard to understand. For believing that somehow, you know me. That even before you believe in other things, you would ask me first. Do me a favor "S"! Try to look back and think of the times we talked. Think of the friendship that now has gone haywire. Now ask yourself if I deserve this.

S: Did u thk that was easy 4 me? and did u even bother 2 ask?

M: I asked you. You said we'll talk but it never happened. Anyways, I don't want to know anymore. I guess it's better this way. Maybe we're just toxic to each other. There are things that we need to sacrifice. Self - preservation. I don't usually do this but yes, I'm giving up on us!

S: fine, il rspct what u want... bt jst so u knw, it wsnt u, twas nvr u... lsod lng jd au istrya ky naa othr ppol invonvld... bt anyways, fine... nvr thot kaw ang ma wa, i was hopng it was somebody else... thanks 4 everything, guess we'll never knw...

I didnt bother replying... like I said, I give up! There are second chances but there are things that are not meant to be.