Holy week is a time when we are forced to sit back and reflect on what we’ve done in the past, on our stupid mistakes and forgettable follies. Also, it’s a time to reconnect with our spiritual self; a time to think seriously about our salvation and afterlife and Christ’s resurrection (as if I’ll be saved. With all the sins I’ve done, I make Hitler a gentle puppy). Oh, lest I forget, Holy Week also means beach, Studio 23’s 7th Heaven marathons and your annual dose of the movie The Ten Commandments (I bet you have watched it for the nth time).
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The best place for me to stay during Holy Week is Cebu City (Osmeña Blvd in particular). Not in Puerto Galera or Boracay or any beaches or Splash Island, but Cebu City. Why? I’ll give you 2 good reasons:
The best place for me to stay during Holy Week is Cebu City (Osmeña Blvd in particular). Not in Puerto Galera or Boracay or any beaches or Splash Island, but Cebu City. Why? I’ll give you 2 good reasons:
1. The traffic is heavenly. It’s like Moses has parted again the Red Sea and gave you a free pass to drive across the sea bed on your own. If you’re from Apas, you can go to Colon in 10 minutes. Imagine, almost an hour travel time reduced to 10 minutes. You can even go drag racing in Jones Avenue if you want to. That is because there are few cars traveling around. Plus, the CITOM people are in Holy Week mode.
2. At long last, PEACE. Isn’t it great that all those pesky children and backbiting and shabu-sniffing neighbors of yours are all gone, kaput, went to a vacation to their own provinces or went to the beach or went anywhere but here? Isn’t it just great that for three days, you virtually own the street and can do anything there? Ok, I can’t do everything and NOT that exhibition thingie if that is what you’re thinking. But at least for three days, you are spared from being friendly with your “oh so lovable and fabulous” neighbors (you know what, thinking of them makes me puke, and seeing them makes me really, really sick. I’ve already canvassed the prices for Scud missiles and torpedoes so that I could blow their houses to kingdom come but I scrapped it when I realized that it also means reducing my crib to pieces. Stupid, stupid, stupid.)
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Holy Week also means tons of time for reading. Last, last year’s Holy Week, on top of watching West Wing and 7th Heaven reruns, I was forced to read two Gabriel Garcia - Marquez novels, three Kurt Vonnegut, and some cheap pocketbooks. Ok, I heard you laugh and saw you smirk. I admit those were my darkest days in my budding literary life. What can I do, those were the only readable materials around. So, in order not to repeat the brouhaha, I now buy books specifically for Holy Week reading. Last year, I’ve read Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Collected Essays, Jane Hamilton’s A Map of the World, and Jospeh Heller's God Knows. This year’s Holy Week, I’ve read Salman Rushdie’s The Ground Beneath Her Feet, and The Satanic Verses and Umberto Eco’s The Name of the Rose. Next year, I plan on reading all the volumes of the Encyclopedia Britannica. Beat that, huh!
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Don’t you know that the Bible is the most widely read book in the world? Also, the Bible is the most bought book. Incidentally, it’s also the most pick-pocketed item in a bookstore.
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Lastly, Holy Week is all about the Camden family, that ever growing family that is full of love in the hit TV show 7th Heaven. I think the Camden family is one of the most envied families ever. Don’t you want to have a cool preacher dad and a tireless, caring, Mrs Do-it-all mother? And a neighbor named Cecilia (Ashlee Simpson, she is really cute you know)?
Holy Week also means tons of time for reading. Last, last year’s Holy Week, on top of watching West Wing and 7th Heaven reruns, I was forced to read two Gabriel Garcia - Marquez novels, three Kurt Vonnegut, and some cheap pocketbooks. Ok, I heard you laugh and saw you smirk. I admit those were my darkest days in my budding literary life. What can I do, those were the only readable materials around. So, in order not to repeat the brouhaha, I now buy books specifically for Holy Week reading. Last year, I’ve read Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Collected Essays, Jane Hamilton’s A Map of the World, and Jospeh Heller's God Knows. This year’s Holy Week, I’ve read Salman Rushdie’s The Ground Beneath Her Feet, and The Satanic Verses and Umberto Eco’s The Name of the Rose. Next year, I plan on reading all the volumes of the Encyclopedia Britannica. Beat that, huh!
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Don’t you know that the Bible is the most widely read book in the world? Also, the Bible is the most bought book. Incidentally, it’s also the most pick-pocketed item in a bookstore.
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Lastly, Holy Week is all about the Camden family, that ever growing family that is full of love in the hit TV show 7th Heaven. I think the Camden family is one of the most envied families ever. Don’t you want to have a cool preacher dad and a tireless, caring, Mrs Do-it-all mother? And a neighbor named Cecilia (Ashlee Simpson, she is really cute you know)?
I have this funny feeling that Holy Week was specifically made so that we can watch 7th Heaven marathon. Yeah, another conspiracy theory of mine (I also believe that the Rockefellers killed JFK, Opus Dei is a cult, Jose Rizal is overrated and Barney is the worst ever dinosaur. I mean who would want to watch a scary purple dinosaur playing around with children. Michael Jackson perhaps, but he is not interested in Barney though, but rather in the cute kids.).
Back to the topic, there are lots of uses of watching 7th Heaven. Aside from watching a TV show that teaches values and good manners and has an AnakTV seal, guys, you can also use the show to have a date. Believe me, many girls really watch 7th Heaven. My cousin dated a girl once because he said he loves 7th Heaven and could name all the characters along with their family dog Happy. So guys, it pays to watch chick shows este family friendly shows.
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Holy week is a time when we must be at our holiest best. But in case you f*cked up and did everything that is forbidden, there is always the next year’s Holy Week to look forward to.
2 comments:
hahaha..
you are evil and i was even under the impression that this is the time for you to repent repent and repent, i guess i was wrong.
@eye_spy: you can say that again! i am evil personified, remember? :)
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