grow

I can’t sleep.

I don’t exactly know why. They say that it happens when you have too much in your head, your mind won’t rest and so your body. Or it can be that your mind simply wouldn’t go to cease, even if your body already has.

It seems as if an intense storm has managed to pierce through the silence of my Night, the break of my Mind. The battleground is my soft Bed, my should-be-Haven. It’s as if my pillows suddenly don’t fit my head anymore, and my bed has come to be as cold as cement, but as fiery as hell.

Although I’ve been a bit of an insomniac lately, I feel that tonight is different. I don’t know why, but it just is. Just a while ago, I felt that God wanted to talk to me. So I knelt down beside my bed and closed my eyes to try to feel His presence. It’s not that I was looking forward to a glorious display of angels descending from the clouds, though. I just wanted His peace.

It’s one of those nights, when I feel like I’m facing a turning point in my life, may it be a major one or not. Changes have to come, and tonight I invite them in. I lay them all spread out and think. I mean, really think about them. Tonight, I feel that I face a turning point, and tonight, I make it one.

It’s a night when I feel like conviction has managed to take over me, to look back, assess and change. And it just wouldn’t give me rest. Until I feel that resolve has taken its place. And then, my whole being comes to rest, my mind filled with satisfaction, while my body - of renewed strength, looking forward with a fresh sense of hope on the way to my Changes.
After the turmoil, I feel this sudden peace. And I yawn. A well-deserved, all-out yawn. I’m ready to sleep. Now, I can sleep. My pillows embrace me as I lay my jaded body surrendered wholly to His peace. My eyes were as curtains shut from the visions of this world. I see hope. Tomorrow will be a new day.

Now, I can sleep.